Is your team glad to see you, or are they just putting up with you? After 30 years in HR, here are the real signs you're liked at work (and what to do if you’re not).
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After my many years in HR, I’ve seen it all.
I’ve hired people, fired people, and watched workplace politics unfold like a dodgy soap opera.
I’ve made mistakes, still make them (occasionally), and I know one thing for sure - work is a lot easier when people like you.
Now, before anyone starts huffing about “I don’t come to work to make friends” - that’s fine, Gary, but if no one can stand being in the same room as you, you might have a problem.
And let’s be honest, saying “I don’t come to work to make friends” is a bit rich coming from me.
I met my wife at work 29 years ago.
Proof that not only can you make friends at work , but sometimes you go home with one for life.
So yeah, being liked isn’t essential, but it makes life smoother.
Promotions, opportunities, and even just having someone grab you a coffee without sighing dramatically all hinge on whether people enjoy your company.
So, how do you know if your colleagues genuinely like you, or if they’re just waiting for you to leave the room so they can breathe?
Here are some tell tale signs.
11 signs people like you at work
1 - You’re invited to things and not just out of pity
If people want you around, they’ll invite you to stuff - simple. Whether it’s a project, a meeting, or Friday drinks, being included means they choose to have you there. If your name mysteriously never appears on the invite list, that’s… less promising.
Social invites matter too. If your team goes out for lunch and “forgets” to tell you, that’s a red flag. If they only remember to invite you when they need a designated driver, that’s even worse.
2 - People listen to you and not just because they must
Being respected and being liked aren’t the same, but they do overlap. If people, ask for your opinion - and seem interested in what you say - you’re on the right track. If they only listen because they legally have to, you’re just another meeting they have to survive.
Watch their reactions. Do they nod along and engage, or do they check their emails and mentally file their tax return while you’re talking? If it’s the latter, you might need to work on your delivery. Or maybe just be less boring.
3 - You’re involved in inside jokes and not the butt of them
Humour is a big one. If your colleagues joke with you, that’s a great sign. If they joke about you while nervously checking if you’re listening, less great.
A bit of friendly teasing means you’re accepted. If they’re comfortable enough to make fun of your terrible coffee-making skills or that one time you fell asleep on a Teams call, you’re in. If the jokes are whispered and followed by a quick subject change when you enter the room, maybe not.
4 - People help you without looking like they regret it immediately
You can tell a lot about workplace relationships by how people react when you need help. If they sigh dramatically, glance around for an excuse to escape, or suddenly become “really busy” checking their emails (even though you can see their screen and it’s just Facebook), they’re not exactly thrilled to assist.
On the other hand, if people actually offer to help you without being legally obligated, that’s a solid indicator that they like having you around.
5 - Your work colleagues talk to you about more than just work
If every conversation you have starts with “Did you get my email?” and ends with “Cool, thanks,” you’re in trouble. People who like you will chat about real things - weekend plans, TV shows, the latest office drama (because let’s be honest, there’s always some).
If your small talk consists entirely of “Busy day?” and “Yeah, you?” before awkward silence takes over, it might be time to work on your conversational skills.
6 - You’re trusted with the good gossip
Yes, yes, I know - “Gossip is toxic” and all that wholesome HR-approved wisdom. But let’s be honest, I’m not naïve enough to think gossip doesn’t exist. It’s everywhere. Offices, pubs, family barbecues - if you believe you’re above it, chances are you’re just not getting the good stuff.
Office gossip is basically the unofficial workplace currency. If your colleagues are trusting you with the real news - who’s quitting, who’s sneaking around with who, which executive is one dodgy email away from a full-blown meltdown, congratulations, you’ve made it into the inner circle. You’re trusted, you’re liked, and you’re officially someone worth whispering to.
But if the room suddenly goes quiet when you walk in and everyone magically finds “exciting project timeline updates” to discuss, you’re probably not there yet. That awkward silence? It’s not a vibe - it’s a sign you’ve got some trust-building to do. Maybe try not looking like you’ll sprint to HR at the first whiff of drama.
That said, let’s not pretend gossip doesn’t have a dark side. While being trusted with the inside scoop can feel like social currency, research consistently shows that gossip – especially the negative, divisive kind – damages trust, morale, and workplace culture. So yes, you might be in the loop, but it’s worth checking what kind of loop you're actually fuelling. A little discretion goes a long way.
7 - You’re not just the 'work version' of yourself
Nobody likes a robot. If your colleagues see the real you - the one with weird hobbies, bad dance moves, and strong opinions on whether pineapple belongs on pizza - you’re officially liked.
If people only know you as “That Guy Who Sends Spreadsheets” or “The Woman Who Says, ‘Per My Last Email’ A Lot”, you’re just another office entity. Be a person, not an email signature.
8 - People remember random stuff about you
Ever had a colleague casually mention that you love cricket or that your dog’s name is Archie? That means they actually listen to you and remember details - which is a great sign.
If nobody remembers anything about you beyond your job title, either you’re not sharing enough, or you’re just not making an impression. Either way, that’s not great.
9 - You’re not avoided like the office printer when it’s out of paper
Watch how people react when they see you. Do they smile, make eye contact, and say hello? Or do they suddenly find something very interesting on their phone and walk the other way?
Body language doesn’t lie. If people naturally gravitate towards you instead of away from you, you’re in good shape. If they suddenly become very busy whenever you approach, you might have some social work to do.10 - People joke about you - but you’re in on it
There’s a difference between being laughed with and laughed at. If your colleagues make fun of the fact that you always spill coffee on your shirt - but in a way that’s affectionate - you’re good.
If the joke is “Let’s see how long it takes before Steve screws up again” and Steve is you, that’s a problem.
11 - People Act Predictably Around You - and Don't have An On/Off Switch
Being liked means people value you - consistently. But sometimes what looks like connection is just... breadcrumbs. A vague compliment here. An invitation there. Enough to keep you hopeful, but never enough to mean much.
If your colleagues seem warm one minute and cold the next, if praise comes in flickers but never follows through, or if you feel you're constantly chasing validation - you might not be disliked, but you're definitely being breadcrumbed.
Breadcrumbing isn’t always personal. Sometimes it's a symptom of poor leadership, flaky culture, or just bad habits. But that doesn’t make it okay.
Being liked shouldn’t feel confusing. If it does, it might be time to reassess what (and who) you’re really chasing.
Why does any of this matter?
Look, I get it - being liked isn’t technically part of your job description. You can be brilliant, efficient, and hit every KPI, and still be about as popular as a 5pm meeting on a Friday.
But here’s the truth - people who are liked have an easier time. Work flows better. Opportunities come faster. And let’s be honest - it’s just nicer not to eat lunch alone.
Being liked doesn’t mean being fake. It means showing up as someone others want to be around - approachable, decent, human.
It’s about remembering that your colleagues aren’t just names in your inbox. They’re people.
And if after reading this you’re thinking, “Yep, I’m in a good place,” then brilliant.
If not? Maybe start with something simple - like offering to grab the next coffee round. It’s surprising how much warmth a flat white can generate.
